Work-Aholic

My name is Amanda Nelson and I'm a workaholic. I never realized that I was one, because surrounding me were my teacher friends working just as long and as hard as I was. But my eyes became open when I heard this woman's story on the radio. She said, "I used to work as a sales associate for an accounting firm and my work defined my identify. However, now I am a stay at home mom and feel that I have no sense of identity anymore." I thought to myself, "how sad is that women whose whole life was her work, oh wait Amanda, that is you, your identity is wrapped up in being a teacher. It's what you think, breathe and live. This became disturbing to me because I don't want to end up like that woman, depressed because now her identity is mother and that is not enough. So, as a result of this epiphany I have decided to set a 70 hour limit on work this week starting today and lasting until Saturday. I'm off to a great start with 0 hours clocked in for today. However, I have conferences on Thursdays that last until 7 that could create a bit of a problem. I'm going to strive to trust the Lord through all of this and know that he will provide where I can not. At the end of the day, whatever I can not finish will be covered by God's Grace.

How the Debate Just Like My School

While I sit here and watch Obama and McCain bash each other on Live Television and Tom Brocroft reminding them of debate rules, I can't help but be reminded of how similar this debate is just like my school. These two men are too busy pointing the fingers and someone else instead of work together and solve problems EFFECTIVELY. I have parents, colleagues, and administrations who want to talk, complain and point fingers instead of meet the needs of these students. They want to holler and hear their own voice when nothing important is coming out. I desire for my students to learn academically, socially and emotionally. I wonder which candidate really cares about the needs of my students? I'm still thinking.....

Burned Out!

I've always heard the saying that most teachers quit within the first five years of teaching. I'm beginning to understand why. I always hear that the first year of teaching is the hardest and if I get through that, then I would be fine. However, I feel that the second year is even harder. I'm always getting frusterated with parents calling and complaining, not to mention 38 students to work with. Everyday I come home exhausted and tired, but I am too stressed out to actually sleep. Instead I stay up working until bed time leaving very little down time. I'm beginning to wornder if I made the right decision in choosing a career that would drain so much of me. I feel that I have very little to give when I get home and that makes me sad for the home I need to take care of, the husband I am called to care for, and the simple joys that make me smile. But something that I learned this week at Sunday school is that deremination is a virtue and I am strong enough to finish the race. Paul did not give up when it got hard, so I will not either. I am going to keep my eyes on the prize and finish strong.

Great Sadness

On September 25, 2008 my grandma, Mary Lou Moore, went to spend eternity with her Savior. This was extremely difficult for me to hear not because she is in heaven with Jesus but because she gave up on life. Her husband, my grandpa, passed away on December 25, 2007 and she was never able to fully live life without him. Being married for over 50 years, his absence was too much to handle. Now, her depression led to several medical problems, that doctors could not take on. The Lord has brought me through several emotional, physical and psychological phases to be where I am today. I am grateful for the life she led and the memories I have shared with her. My grandma and I have always been very close. I'm the oldest grandaughter and with that came certain treasures she entrusted just to me. My most prized possession is her autobiographhy which she wrote me all throughout my college years. She would write me installments of her life like her childhood, married life, etc. I pray that the Lord will continue working on me as the days come to help me to see his plan. I will always remember you Grandma and I will make sure others will as well.

Beautiful Fall Day

I can not believe how long it has been since I have last blogged. Today was a wonderful day because I had no obligations. I woke up at 8 am and felt completely rested and ready for the day. Then, I had breakfast and spent some time with the Lord. I feel God keeps trying to teach me over and over that his love is enough and covers all wounds, hurts and sins. I am not the creator, so I do not have the right to judge. I'm glad that I have a beloved who cares about me. I spent the day upstairs in my office (or as I called it, my very own coffee shop) working on school stuff. I listened to my own music, sipped on my diet coke and went to town. I worked right off my to do list. It felt nice to have an afternoon of work and solitude. Larry rewarded me for working all afternoon by taking me to Outback for dinner. It was a great day.

Too Involved

The other day I hung out with two of my closest friends for a night of girl relaxation and catch up. As we sat at dinner I began to hear my friends tell stories and information that I have already heard from them throughout the week. So, I sit there and watch them talk back and forth with each other because to the other person this is BRAND NEW information. But to me, it is yesterday's old news. So this led me to question, Am I too involved with all of my friends? All we do is recap everything I already know about each of the people because I catch up with all of my friends throughout the week and hear what's going on in their lives. The problem is that they are not communicating with each other so I get to sit and listen to the same stories twice. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, that is why I call them and keep in touch. My frusteration is having to listen to it again and again with people they don't speak to on a regular basis. Am I too involved in my friends life that when I see them I am forced to listen to repeated stories?

Nothing is Free!

It was missions day at our church, New River Community Church. We had several different outreaches going on throughout the day such as food can drive, car wash, and coke/hot dog giveaways. Larry and I set up shop with a group of people at Bi-Lo. The mission was real simple we were to pass out hot dogs and coke for free, no strings attached. In fact, our church wouldn't even accept donations. We wanted this to be a practical symbol of God's love. The reaction was just eye opening to me. People could not get over the fact that it was free, they would just keep asking "what's the catch?" "Are you trying to promote your church?" "Nothing is free". And it made me stop and think, does our society always undermining people to the point where they can't take a free hot dog and enjoy it? Or people felt so guilty they tried to shove money at us anyway. We would just smile and politely said, "That's O.K. we're good, you can save it for someone else who might need it." I loved passing out food to people. It reminded me of Jesus feeding people fish and bread to the masses. I loved being able to tell people that "we simply wanted to feed them today." "It's free just like God's love".

One of my favorite lines from this day was when I asked a man if he wanted a free coke, he responded, "No Thanks, I work for Pepsi"

Overall, God is good.

Our Blessing

Sorry for the crappy picture. But this is the first furniture purchase Larry and I have made in 5 minutes. We were at Rooms To Go Outlet getting a coffee table with our friends and decided to looks for some end tables and we came across this beauty. Now she's not much from this angle, but believe me, they are beautiful and in great condition. Larry and I saw it, looked at each other, looked at the price and we knew we wanted it. I even bargained with the lady at the store for a lower price. That was it, they were ours! YeAH!! But let me fill you in on how this usually goes. Larry and I decided we need to buy a certain piece of furniture. So, we set up a observation day, where we go to every store that might have what we want looking and recording prices. Now during this time, that usually takes an entire day, there is no thought of even buying. It is purely to decide what we want, which usually takes some arguing, I mean compromising. We are also looking for the best deal, because Larry and I are sticklers with money. Then once we have seen all that we can, we reconvene to discuss what our options are. Basically this takes usually 1 - 2 months, and we did it in 5 minutes. Oh, us newlyweds are growing up so fast.

Until next time.

xoxoxo

Manda

Finally Fitting in my own shoes

I am really starting to feel like Larry and I are supposed to be in South Carolina. We are finally at peace with being where we are at, which never happens when you have two adventure seekers. We found a new church called New River community church. It was by far the friendliest church I have ever been in. They really made you feel welcomed and they are starting a new series on themselves as a church and what their mission is. The pastor said something on Sunday that really stuck with me. He said, "You do all that you can do, and God will do all that he can do." And I think a lot of times we wait for God to step in and take over, when we should be sprinting and running hard living the life we are supposed to live. Treating others with compassion, love, truth and grace. God will intervene and show up when he needs to. The illustration he gave was about Jesus feeding 5,000 with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish. God said, "Go and feed the people" and the disciples did, they had enough for everyone. I wish I trusted God when he sends me out with 2 loaves and expects me to feed 5,000. I need to take more risks for God. This is going to be it. Living in South Carolina, being a 4th grade teacher, and joining a small group. I am going to do all that I can do for him, the Creator and beloved of my life.

Larry and I have really made an effort to make a life for ourselves in South Carolina, especially with making friends. At my school, I have a small number of girls that are around my age without children, these are the women I have clung to. Quite perfectly, all of their husbands and Larry get along fabulous. I never realized how much time and effort it takes to really start and build friendships with people. Recently I made a huge mistake with one of the girls and lied to her about something really trival. I realized that I am more prideful and mindful of what people think of me, that I am about being true to what God says and that is "The Truth will set you Free". Long story short, after a close friend reminded me of this truth, I came clean with the friend, which was awful, but I'm so glad I did, because I need to cling to what is Truth and what is pure if nothing else. Stay true to the one who set you free. I am so grateful for Jesus, our ultimate Savior, who gives eternal grace.

Too Many Dreams

I always feel antsy and anxious to move on to the next big thing. I try to tell myself that I am so passionate for God that I want to serve him in any and every way that I can. But on the other hand, maybe my life has been just this charade of never getting attached to anything, always moving around and never settling down. I never felt like I was settling down with Larry. He was a guy that I knew I wanted to be around and be near. He gave off such an amazing energy that I knew I wanted to be running next to him for the rest of my life. Ever since I moved to South Carolina, I have been itching to move home to Michigan. But for the past four years in Michigan, I have been itching to move somewhere out of state. And now I am running my brain to figure out where I want to go next. I always believed that I liked staying in one place and setlling down, but something inside me gets excited at the thought of a new adventure. I want to be used in a powerful way by God. I want to meet people that God wants me to interact with. I want to serve him with my whole heart and I want to lay my dreams and recognitions down at his feet. I feel humbled at the thought of laying down my teaching career. You work your whole life for a degree to do what you are really passionate about (teaching). And then I realized that it doesn't mean that God can't have his hands in my lifelong dream of being a teacher. So, I am praying about my next move as a teacher and as a resident of South Carolina, waiting for my call from my Savior.

My First Blog

I have always wanted a place to share my thoughts. In college, I always wrote in a prayer journal but it always bothered me to write with a pencil. I found my mind going a mile a minute while my hand could only go so fast. I thought it would be so much easier just to state my requests to God than to write them all down. It was faster and lets face it, in a world of immediate satisfaction it was just so much easier. But the idea of a blog was put heavy on my heart. I have never been interested in one before. I always thought no one would want to read what I have to say and I really didn't have that much self worth to think that I had anything significant to say. But then I realized how much I think about things on a daily basis and how many random thoughts come into my mind. That's when the blog idea came up. What if I had a place where I could write all my random thoughts down? Only it wouldn't be writing and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like I needed to start my journey written (typed) down for God, myself and the world to see. So, this is only the beginning.